Everyday I vow again

I vow again to feel better. To be in a better mood.

But my vow is hollow -- hollow just like I feel.

I tell myself that I will force myself to do things, to participate, to act. I'll act not how I feel, but act how I am supposed to feel. I'll be better off. At least those around me -- the people I care most about -- will feel better about me.

Instead I spread my misery like an infectious disease.

Would I, would those I love, be better off if I was simply alone?

I want to be alone...

“I want to be alone and I want people to notice me — both at the same time.”

— Thom Yorke

As an introvert who craves attention, glory, and fame, I totally get what Mr. Yorke is talking about.